Balance

Well, seems like today's word for me is balance.

I have recently lost my balance, I meant balance in mind, body, spirits. When you lose someone you love (I am not sure the work 'Lose" is a good one, maybe let just say when our loved one passed away), you definitely lose your balance, you have been detached, and for some reasons you feel as if your body wanders without your soul. The person you love goes on a journey without you. Your hope is you will see them again someday. I believe that.

My mind keeps playing the image of my grandma's face when she passed. She was smiling. I wonder was she smiling because something is indeed greater on the other world? was she smiling because she saw my grand father again? her friends maybe? or her mom? She called her mom when she had pains. If all these are true, death is a not a sad thing.

Other words for me today is to "choose carefully", seems like indeed this is what I need to do. Making choices has never been easy for me, sometimes I feel like I am just dragged along, unable to cut a string loose. This is what I should do though.

Well, I hope my trip home end of this month will empower my spiritual mind, I plan to spend a week or so in Bangkok to observe, to train my eyes to look for signs :-)