Adultery/Cheating/being Unfaithful-how far can one go?
I am hoping in the next couple of weeks, the courses in school will really get better because I start getting a little bit disappointed. So far, the only course that appeals to me is the Yield management course, the rest is really just what I have seen before. In fact, I am going to see the Dean this Thursday to talk about that. I am not going to be in this school to let people decide what I will learn, I am going to tell them what I want to learn.
Anyway, another entry of the day as I am having an headache and backpain, I can not really sleep.
Well, I think of something really serious in a relationship that can cause heartache, damages emotionallly and physically to anyone, sometime can lead to murder or be murdered: Adultery or cheating.
There are many aspects around this problem. This may start at a simple, harmless text messages or e-mails (which in my opinions are a tool that easily lead us to having a fling). It was just all about fun or maybe it was because there was something missing in our life, we do not want to let go because we are scared of the price or the risk but at the same time, maybe because it is all mystery and thrilled that you can not resist?
No matter how it starts, it obviously can not guarantee that it can be a secret forever, because sooner or later one will discover (unless you trust that other person blindly-in that aspect I can tell you, it is good to trust someone you love, however, there are always signs that usually make you wonder). One you start questioning, you will start look for answers.
Lying? yeah, you will probably have to lie a lot, and good liars usually have good memories!! They have to keep track on what they have already said.
Feeling guilty? don't start doing the wrong things if you obviously know where it will lead you to. Why would you start a relationship with someone if you are already in one?
How is it different between men and women? As we know, both men and women can conduct adultery. For men, it is more likely because they want to spread out their genes, spice up the their sex lives?, how many of them will tell you they just want to have another woman because the make-up sex with their girlfriends/partners are much better after?. For women, there are many reasons, because they are unhappy, something missing in their lives, adventurous, emotional reasons?
How the cheater feels? for both men and women, of course guilt. But for men, it won't be as bad as women. Actually, I believe a woman can only be unfaithful when she is attracted to someone else, with whom she potentially falls in love. You can not just kiss a guy like that, can you? It must have something special about, at least something you will remember for a long time...And if that ever happens with someone else, she would feel really ugly and dirty.
Same goes for the one who is being cheated to, I guess.
But what about love? I think I believe a lot of things about love. If one person loves you, they will want to be with you. So, being the another person is not something one should do, you can't be there to give a sort of guarantee to the other that he/she can be with you if they leave their partner. One should remember that having a person leaving someone for you is a wrong thing, they should leave the other person because they do not belong to whoever they share their lives with. So whether it is you or else, it will happen.
When you love someone or your quest for real love is somehow realised, you knew what the reasons could be for you not to be with the person you love. Then, I tell you you will be kinda satisfied, it becomes unimportant whether you can be with them or not. In fact, one day if they tell you, "this isn't working", you will be happy that it will probably the start of something better, in another life maybe. Therefore, the journey ends, you stop searching, rarely it will come twice. On a note aside, it do not occur to my mind of finding a person who knows about my culture better (since I am living in Europe) as it is not you who decide whether it will work or not, it does not really make any differences. Love is random, and it does not mean because a guy know better my culture, I will have a better chance with him. Why just go out with the people of my own sort? It would be so much easier, no? I can eat fish sauce without having him complain it smells bad :-). Again you don't decide who to fall in love with, you are matched before you were born.
Now is that scary or interesting? and btw, being with two guys are the last thing I would do. For me either this or that, believe me, I am no saint, but it is just not correct. Keeping someone else with us when we think we are afraid is really not cool, we are just being selfish or just want to secure ourselves by having someone there "if...", bad karma. It will be hurtful but definitely the pain won't last. Love is not a game, so better not playing games with it, price will be very high! Everything in life is risky, and things usually happen for a reason, for better or worse of course :-P
Talking about that, I am gonna write an sms now :-).
Anyway, another entry of the day as I am having an headache and backpain, I can not really sleep.
Well, I think of something really serious in a relationship that can cause heartache, damages emotionallly and physically to anyone, sometime can lead to murder or be murdered: Adultery or cheating.
There are many aspects around this problem. This may start at a simple, harmless text messages or e-mails (which in my opinions are a tool that easily lead us to having a fling). It was just all about fun or maybe it was because there was something missing in our life, we do not want to let go because we are scared of the price or the risk but at the same time, maybe because it is all mystery and thrilled that you can not resist?
No matter how it starts, it obviously can not guarantee that it can be a secret forever, because sooner or later one will discover (unless you trust that other person blindly-in that aspect I can tell you, it is good to trust someone you love, however, there are always signs that usually make you wonder). One you start questioning, you will start look for answers.
Lying? yeah, you will probably have to lie a lot, and good liars usually have good memories!! They have to keep track on what they have already said.
Feeling guilty? don't start doing the wrong things if you obviously know where it will lead you to. Why would you start a relationship with someone if you are already in one?
How is it different between men and women? As we know, both men and women can conduct adultery. For men, it is more likely because they want to spread out their genes, spice up the their sex lives?, how many of them will tell you they just want to have another woman because the make-up sex with their girlfriends/partners are much better after?. For women, there are many reasons, because they are unhappy, something missing in their lives, adventurous, emotional reasons?
How the cheater feels? for both men and women, of course guilt. But for men, it won't be as bad as women. Actually, I believe a woman can only be unfaithful when she is attracted to someone else, with whom she potentially falls in love. You can not just kiss a guy like that, can you? It must have something special about, at least something you will remember for a long time...And if that ever happens with someone else, she would feel really ugly and dirty.
Same goes for the one who is being cheated to, I guess.
But what about love? I think I believe a lot of things about love. If one person loves you, they will want to be with you. So, being the another person is not something one should do, you can't be there to give a sort of guarantee to the other that he/she can be with you if they leave their partner. One should remember that having a person leaving someone for you is a wrong thing, they should leave the other person because they do not belong to whoever they share their lives with. So whether it is you or else, it will happen.
When you love someone or your quest for real love is somehow realised, you knew what the reasons could be for you not to be with the person you love. Then, I tell you you will be kinda satisfied, it becomes unimportant whether you can be with them or not. In fact, one day if they tell you, "this isn't working", you will be happy that it will probably the start of something better, in another life maybe. Therefore, the journey ends, you stop searching, rarely it will come twice. On a note aside, it do not occur to my mind of finding a person who knows about my culture better (since I am living in Europe) as it is not you who decide whether it will work or not, it does not really make any differences. Love is random, and it does not mean because a guy know better my culture, I will have a better chance with him. Why just go out with the people of my own sort? It would be so much easier, no? I can eat fish sauce without having him complain it smells bad :-). Again you don't decide who to fall in love with, you are matched before you were born.
Now is that scary or interesting? and btw, being with two guys are the last thing I would do. For me either this or that, believe me, I am no saint, but it is just not correct. Keeping someone else with us when we think we are afraid is really not cool, we are just being selfish or just want to secure ourselves by having someone there "if...", bad karma. It will be hurtful but definitely the pain won't last. Love is not a game, so better not playing games with it, price will be very high! Everything in life is risky, and things usually happen for a reason, for better or worse of course :-P
Talking about that, I am gonna write an sms now :-).
posted by Vagabonder @ 1:30 AM
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