Matter of the heart
Many questions popped up in my head when I saw an e-mail from a friend of mine, she wasn't feeling comfortable when her boyfriend invited his ex (the one he broke up with he met her) on his birthday.
Although I think it is always good to remain a good relationship with the person who we once loved instead of hating each other for the rest of our lives. But sometimes, I can't help but wonder is it really friendship or is it because one still has feeling for the other? On a woman's point of view, the latter is true. It is a fact that women always try to decode/understand the signals that men send out, in reality there is no signal. Everything is very straightforward. Men want to keep the friendship because they really want to have a friendship, but women only keep the friendship because they still have feeling for their partners or potentially hoping that one day things will be ok again.
The problem is you can trust the man you love but how do you trust the other woman? ;-) . I can understand that it is frustrated for anyone who come after because there is always an ex, especially if on your boyfriend's BD, his ex made him his favourite cakes, and of course your boyfriend's friends start saying his ex is wonderful. That's probably putting me into a bad mood the whole day even I am not a jealous type of woman!! Men just don't get it, they won't see anything wrong with that sort of things but women, that is a negative signal!
When we were having lunch, a colleague of mine was complaining that there is a crazy woman who is bugging him...When I asked him how long has he been in the relationship, he told me that he had only a "one day relationship" with her :-) (he really meant one day), and now she doesn't stop calling him! I thought "poor woman"...It is sad that people are taking relationship so easy nowadays, there are so many lies, dishonesty..While men believe a little lie can save their women from heartache, for woman it is more serious. When I told my colleague "why don't you just tell her straight that you are not interested, and appreciate that she stops calling you?" He reponded (probably joking?) "I was waiting for you to call me the whole weekend but you didn't, only that crazy girl"... hmm, does this need to be decoding or is it pretty much straightforward? ;-)).
Anyway, knowing the person he is, probably he promised a lot to the poor woman who turned out to be a divorce one!
Although I think it is always good to remain a good relationship with the person who we once loved instead of hating each other for the rest of our lives. But sometimes, I can't help but wonder is it really friendship or is it because one still has feeling for the other? On a woman's point of view, the latter is true. It is a fact that women always try to decode/understand the signals that men send out, in reality there is no signal. Everything is very straightforward. Men want to keep the friendship because they really want to have a friendship, but women only keep the friendship because they still have feeling for their partners or potentially hoping that one day things will be ok again.
The problem is you can trust the man you love but how do you trust the other woman? ;-) . I can understand that it is frustrated for anyone who come after because there is always an ex, especially if on your boyfriend's BD, his ex made him his favourite cakes, and of course your boyfriend's friends start saying his ex is wonderful. That's probably putting me into a bad mood the whole day even I am not a jealous type of woman!! Men just don't get it, they won't see anything wrong with that sort of things but women, that is a negative signal!
When we were having lunch, a colleague of mine was complaining that there is a crazy woman who is bugging him...When I asked him how long has he been in the relationship, he told me that he had only a "one day relationship" with her :-) (he really meant one day), and now she doesn't stop calling him! I thought "poor woman"...It is sad that people are taking relationship so easy nowadays, there are so many lies, dishonesty..While men believe a little lie can save their women from heartache, for woman it is more serious. When I told my colleague "why don't you just tell her straight that you are not interested, and appreciate that she stops calling you?" He reponded (probably joking?) "I was waiting for you to call me the whole weekend but you didn't, only that crazy girl"... hmm, does this need to be decoding or is it pretty much straightforward? ;-)).
Anyway, knowing the person he is, probably he promised a lot to the poor woman who turned out to be a divorce one!
posted by Vagabonder @ 1:38 PM
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