Home sweet home

I am going to pay flight ticket today to go home next week or hopefully by end of week. Just need to find someone to take care of Ruben's plants...

I saw Gabor yesterday, he is back from Kazakhtans, apparently he had a lots of fun and interesting adventures :-). He is going to move to Brugges to do his doctorate, and guys want to go see Land of the Dead and maybe a drink this week if I have time. Gosh, I just realise that I start spending a lots of time with Manu, and he flirts a bit through his text messages...Anyway, I told them I am going home, so they ask if my phone will work there..bla bla, Manu joked saying maybe it is fate since he wants to do a South East Asia trip :-)

You probably wonder why such a sudden, but it has been quite some time now that I have this thought. I know sooner or later I will have to take this very sad and painful decision because I love him very much, but this is so wrong time, wrong place, wrong person. I do not want to push him into making any decision about anything. I want him to stay with her, and yet staying here will be too painful and hard for me to handle. I guess the only thing that is holding me here is his love for me. However, like I said, I am getting more and more frustrated every day, and I know as much as he says he loves me, he also loves her.

I have been trying to make him not to worry, but it is too difficult. I am looking for love, the "can't live without each other" love, and I don't think it's here or if it is, I am too late. So I am letting him go.

How is it like for a man to love a woman? I am living in a fantasy, and maybe only movies have good ending...I just need to do one last thing is to tell him how much I love him in person.

...Home sweet home...