I fly hier, I fly daar, I fly everiwaar. Goed English, jo? :-)
I think if I could go back to the past, I would really like to become a nudity or portray painter or photographer. Women are beautiful creatures when it comes to this subject.
Well, most of us complain of having to suffer the pain every month when it comes to menstruasion or having to suffer the pain of giving birth to a child (How many women actually curse their husbands when they are in labour, but then ask again if they want to have another child, I am sure most of them will tell you "yes" :-)), however, ask if they would prefer to have a penis, I am sure you will receive answer like "say that again, PPPPlease?".
Women are amazing, they are capable of having multiple orgasms (say who?), capable of faking an orgasm ("hello 911, I am on fire" can really mean "let's get it over with"), capable of calling their ex-boyfriends to let them know that they are getting married (even though their exs do not care?), capable of marrying someone they do not love (but then men do, too no?)...But yet, every one of them has probably a male part deep down inside them. Nowadays, it is not hard to find a woman who actually propose a wedding to a man. Is it weird? Are women desperately want to get married? or is it what we called "equality in gender" or "indiscrimination"? After all, what's wrong with a woman who proposes? Nothing (maybe a lack of romance for those who cares about tradition?).
We probably do not have to wait long for something like "I am not here to ask you to marry me, I am here to ask you not to marry her". The role of men and women are reversed (anyhow who says men should be this and women should be that?-sarcasm), and in this aspect, I think Vietnamese women are UNFORTUNATELY a little bit in advance. I would give up my entire up to study every generation of Vietnamese women, it is a fascinating subject for me. Even though I read many books on women like "Global women", "The good women of China", "Memoirs of a Geisha" or recently "Midnight at the Dragon Cafe", nothing has been so real like stories I have heard from.
Vietnamese women know two words very well since they were born: "sacrifice and endurance". If you have watched two beautiful movies of French-Vietnamese born director Tran Anh Hung entitled " The smell of the Green Papaya" and "Cyclo", you will probably understand what I am saying. With "The smell of green Papaya", he had sucessfully conveyed the image of the Vietnamese women in the French colony time. The husband in the movie came home, stayed a few days, and every time he left the house, all the money was gone with him. The wife was again working hard to earn money to take care of the children and her mother in law. With "Cyclo", he gave us an unchanged image of Vietnamese women after the American war, a poet gangster who lived on the money of his hooker girlfriend. Conclusion? Vietnamese women have been working to feed the Vietnamese men! Is it changed now? Sadly no, they have become an important factor to drive the economy of Vietnam (shall we call it "the non-smoke industry"). Many girls are sold to Taiwan, either they become the sex slaves or labour slaves, working their ass off to have money to help their families. Hence, the economy grows?
Why did I mention "sacrifice and endurance"? "Real" Vietnamese women will not abandon their husbands because they have a tough life, no money. You don't know how long it will take for a Vietnamese women to finally leave her partner/husband even though she get beaten up by him many times, not to mention many adulteries that her husband conducts. Although my mom belongs to a tough type of woman, it did take her a long time to leave my father, and yet he did kneel down to ask for forgiveness and asked her to come back the last time she was at my grandparents' place (eventually couldn't forget her until the day he died), I am happy that she didn't come back to him (I wonder how my life would turn out to be, maybe I am selling peanuts on the street, married early to get away from a violent dad?).
Of course, not all Vietnamese men are bad or all Vietnamese women are saints, but I think most of them deserve men who love and appreciate them for what they do, not the beaten up, not the swearing, not the cheating, not the stealing money...They give up their lives to husbands and children, the "me" in them disappears the day they get married, and from then the "my husband and my child" comes. My cousine got married to a guy who slept with hooker, got sexual transmitted disease, gave it to her, but my aunt (daughter of my grandfather's first wife) convinced her to stay with him because that was how marriage supposed to be. It is like when my aunt puts up with her husband, because it is fate, destiny...
I don't know if I will leave my life with "endurance and sacrifice", but for sure when a man is bored of a woman, the confront with the other woman, the fighting to take him back will not keep him around (and what's for?), maybe let someone free is the also a fate and destiny.
Relationship between a man and a woman is complicated, and for years there are many books that were written on how to decode the love messages of both sex. Is it real to accept someone the way they are in the name of love? is love all that matters? are there soul mates?
Or do we REALLY need to train a man or a woman to guarantee the ever happy marriage? :-)
Well, most of us complain of having to suffer the pain every month when it comes to menstruasion or having to suffer the pain of giving birth to a child (How many women actually curse their husbands when they are in labour, but then ask again if they want to have another child, I am sure most of them will tell you "yes" :-)), however, ask if they would prefer to have a penis, I am sure you will receive answer like "say that again, PPPPlease?".
Women are amazing, they are capable of having multiple orgasms (say who?), capable of faking an orgasm ("hello 911, I am on fire" can really mean "let's get it over with"), capable of calling their ex-boyfriends to let them know that they are getting married (even though their exs do not care?), capable of marrying someone they do not love (but then men do, too no?)...But yet, every one of them has probably a male part deep down inside them. Nowadays, it is not hard to find a woman who actually propose a wedding to a man. Is it weird? Are women desperately want to get married? or is it what we called "equality in gender" or "indiscrimination"? After all, what's wrong with a woman who proposes? Nothing (maybe a lack of romance for those who cares about tradition?).
We probably do not have to wait long for something like "I am not here to ask you to marry me, I am here to ask you not to marry her". The role of men and women are reversed (anyhow who says men should be this and women should be that?-sarcasm), and in this aspect, I think Vietnamese women are UNFORTUNATELY a little bit in advance. I would give up my entire up to study every generation of Vietnamese women, it is a fascinating subject for me. Even though I read many books on women like "Global women", "The good women of China", "Memoirs of a Geisha" or recently "Midnight at the Dragon Cafe", nothing has been so real like stories I have heard from.
Vietnamese women know two words very well since they were born: "sacrifice and endurance". If you have watched two beautiful movies of French-Vietnamese born director Tran Anh Hung entitled " The smell of the Green Papaya" and "Cyclo", you will probably understand what I am saying. With "The smell of green Papaya", he had sucessfully conveyed the image of the Vietnamese women in the French colony time. The husband in the movie came home, stayed a few days, and every time he left the house, all the money was gone with him. The wife was again working hard to earn money to take care of the children and her mother in law. With "Cyclo", he gave us an unchanged image of Vietnamese women after the American war, a poet gangster who lived on the money of his hooker girlfriend. Conclusion? Vietnamese women have been working to feed the Vietnamese men! Is it changed now? Sadly no, they have become an important factor to drive the economy of Vietnam (shall we call it "the non-smoke industry"). Many girls are sold to Taiwan, either they become the sex slaves or labour slaves, working their ass off to have money to help their families. Hence, the economy grows?
Why did I mention "sacrifice and endurance"? "Real" Vietnamese women will not abandon their husbands because they have a tough life, no money. You don't know how long it will take for a Vietnamese women to finally leave her partner/husband even though she get beaten up by him many times, not to mention many adulteries that her husband conducts. Although my mom belongs to a tough type of woman, it did take her a long time to leave my father, and yet he did kneel down to ask for forgiveness and asked her to come back the last time she was at my grandparents' place (eventually couldn't forget her until the day he died), I am happy that she didn't come back to him (I wonder how my life would turn out to be, maybe I am selling peanuts on the street, married early to get away from a violent dad?).
Of course, not all Vietnamese men are bad or all Vietnamese women are saints, but I think most of them deserve men who love and appreciate them for what they do, not the beaten up, not the swearing, not the cheating, not the stealing money...They give up their lives to husbands and children, the "me" in them disappears the day they get married, and from then the "my husband and my child" comes. My cousine got married to a guy who slept with hooker, got sexual transmitted disease, gave it to her, but my aunt (daughter of my grandfather's first wife) convinced her to stay with him because that was how marriage supposed to be. It is like when my aunt puts up with her husband, because it is fate, destiny...
I don't know if I will leave my life with "endurance and sacrifice", but for sure when a man is bored of a woman, the confront with the other woman, the fighting to take him back will not keep him around (and what's for?), maybe let someone free is the also a fate and destiny.
Relationship between a man and a woman is complicated, and for years there are many books that were written on how to decode the love messages of both sex. Is it real to accept someone the way they are in the name of love? is love all that matters? are there soul mates?
Or do we REALLY need to train a man or a woman to guarantee the ever happy marriage? :-)
posted by Vagabonder @ 1:04 AM
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