Blogging and Diary

I am wondering if I should continue on writing personal stuffs here. I was well-awared of once I decided on blogging, there was nothing I would hide. It is as if you are not afraid to tell the whole world the way you feel that day.

Is it freedom of speech or you just so tired of not being to speak freely without having anybody judging you? Now I feel as if my emotions and feelings are invaded because everybody knows how I feel. It is strange, one way you want to talk, but you also don't want anybody to listen to your stories because it is private and precious to yourself. And worse, if someone gives you feedback...

So, why not keep a real diary, not that I didn't have one, I had one until I left VN, but I think it is more convenient with a digital one, easy to maintain...

Do I sound contradictory? I guess I am. But writing is always the best way to get rid of frustrations and worries... I just sent a lot of e-mails to my friends, maybe when you don't know what to do, you look for as many suggestions as you can, and then you receive a lot of e-mails back, they recomfort you, telling you they will be there..Isn't that great? Friends are always the best people to whom you could turn to, and real friends will not turn your back to you in time you need them.

This morning, I went to a cafe with Brian, Brian just listened to me without saying anything, he didn't tell me what to do, just listen, seeing me crying, then give me a big hug, saying not to worry, things will be fine...And in his opinions, maybe I now know what I am waiting to know...It is so strange before I used to tell mom everything but now things seem to be more difficult to tell, maybe I know she wouldn't be so proud or would be sad and worried about me? or maybe she wouldn't understand...

Another unhappy post, but will be the last one, I think I have said what I have to say.

I am watching "Journey to the West", bought a lot of illegal copies ;-). Hehehe, of course, I don't like to have copied versions of what i like, but hey it maybe not worth it to pay more than 1E for a DVD of a silly movie ;-)?

Everybody goes out for dinner today, I want to spend this evening alone, just want to relax a little, it helps. The other day, my uncle called and apparently Mika is always hungry ;-), so he must be really skinny when I get back ;-), my baby plants give more flowers apparently, I hope they will last until then. Uncle is going to call again tonite (Vn's morning). Gabor smsed to ask me about MBA school, his brother also wants to do it, it is kinda urgent since it is already September...