Bye Bye 2010

After a lot of snow and coldness, we actually had a very white Xmas this year, it is not so nice to nagivate around Brussels on foot as the melted snow has really made a mess :-), every where is muddy and wet. We do have a blue sky today though.

I spent a quiet Xmas, mom has cooked meals and done most of the daily chores in the house, so I told mom to take a break during Xmas, I would took care of meals, I missed cooking anyway. So, we had ostriche steak with wild mushroom sauce and chestnut puree as main dish and a small salad for Xmas, very seasonal. Mom does not drink wine though, that really is a pity, so uncle and I finished a very nice Cabernet Savignon bottle, just perfect for the mushroom and game dish.

On 25th, I made lovely couscous as we had a guest. I have made a new friend and well, I was quite amazed of how much this new friend knows about wild animal, his father runs a park in Kenya...yeah, yeah, you might get the picture, we made a deal that he would take me on a safari in Kenya and I would take him to VN, something to look forward to :-0). I still think about how amazing that is that some friends we have made on our journey to life so easily, you meet them and instantly, there is a connection (I am only talking friendship here), some people you meet them again and again and you can't still connect to them. Anyway, meeting this new friend reminds me of something very important that the last few weeks I have forgotten, that is people are meant to meet or things always happen for a reason, so we should not force anything.

I was an emotionally wreck the last two weeks, and I thought man, life is too short to be dragged along someone's journey and be unhappy about things that are not in my hands. That's it! I still have plenty of travels to make or contantly provided with chances to learn and experience new things. So, that is exactly what I hope to do for next year. Time to change, and "yes, I can" :-0)

Anyway, 2010 has been an interesting year for me. Grandma passed away but she was happy, her life was filled with a lot of great experiences, she was a strong lady and I would never forget about how tender and super she was. 2010 has been with happiness (although sometimes not easy :-)) because my mom is here, and of course the leaving and coming back of old and new friends, new fun and great experiences that I had in 2010. All in all, 2010 has been good.

I will write more next week. In the mean time, I wish you a Happy year 2011!

A wreck

I don't know how to begin this post. I am just writing it because writing on paper diary does not seem to help. Too many thoughts. When I am sitting on the train, looking at the misty windows, out to the complete white scenes, the snow covered on the trees, on the fields, on the houses where the smoke coming out of their chimneys, I thought 'gosh, I have not seen anything anything that is so ordinary but so beautiful at the same time'. This is why even though there is time I despise winter because of the coldness, the lack of sunlights, I also love it somehow.

Things are not great at the moment. I am actually not feeling good at all. I have this constant feeling of stomach sickness, like a very tied knot. I have indeed used many ways and technics to loose the knot but nothing really helps. When the sun goes down, the light goes out, I am again alone with thoughts and tears. It hurts, it burns..and I am feeling helpless. Some wounds can never heal, I guess.

I was able to catch up with some friends earlier this week because the holidays are coming, some of them go away or go home. Holidays is the time where you can write cards to friends, family to tell them how much you love them, how much you are grateful to have them in your life, how great they are...so I was told as well. I am blessed, the good things your friends tell you are the things to keep you moving further in life.

I don't really get why some of us are afraid of getting old. I am feeling better and better when I age. No seriously, imagin how many things you could have avoid knowing them now? to me, the older I get, the older I feel more open to other person's experiences. Five years ago if someone share their work experiences, life experiences, children experiences...I would have said (to myself) "yeah, whatever :-)" but now I would find myself nodding, maybe I don't agree with everything but at least, I don't mind listening. That goes with books, some books I read a few years ago, I have different views about them now. I guess as you grow olders, you surely perceive life differently, maturely and yes, life experiences serve well.

Anyway, already end of the week, next week is Xmas and the week after, we are entering a new year. Time goes by so quickly and it can do so much to you. I hope next week will bring more joy.