You think you know me? You will know better...;-)

For the info, I am going to participating in a special Lunar New year event organized privately by the Vietnamese patriots in Brussels (The reason I specified is because we have the whole Vietnamese community here but no many willing to participate. There was also one event organized by the Vietnamese embassy last Saturday though. I went there, very nice with traditional singers, and dancers from Vietnam...great).

I will be performing with a group a young people the traditional bamboo dance (he he it's originally from the ethnic group, montagnards), so of course you guys will see me in costumes ;-), and on stage. Me, imagin that, would be fun for you to watch. There will be food as well, and the ticket costs 20E.

Will communicate address if any is interested.

Traditional women or career oriented ones?

With the trend of the women trying to have their own career, and starting to stay single much longer, I wonder whether nowadays men are more attracted to career built, successful business women or they still prefer the perfect housewives? And how women think about this? Do they themselves want to be a housewife or ambitious women?

Are men fine with a more successful wife or they feel threatened by that? Will women become the decision makers in the house and getting control if they bring more money home? Between men and men, do they like to see their mate staying home and taking care of the kid while their mate's wife bring money home?

I am just thinking about from when people start to set up such norms or roles for men and women? For instance, talking about homosexuality, who say when men behave girly, know more stuffs related to girls or take care of their look, they are gay? or if we see two girls hugging each other, we start questioning whether they are lesbians? If this is the case, then in Vietnam or most Asian countries, we are all gay and lesbians ;-) (although I was shocked to see two men kissing here in Belgium when they say hi-not sure if this is Belgian culture or France?)

Personally, I think most men now prefer to have a working wife but at the same time expect her to be good in housing. They can't bear the fact of having a wife staying home, waiting for them, and have no interesting conversion subjects. It likely to be the case of men having affairs because they see other their colleagues at work are much more interesting to talk to. Most women tend to forget or ignore to take care of her look, or social activities after they start living together with their partners. We should always stay neat, clean, and of course pretty as we were on our dates...Actually, not only women should be but men should, too. Who wants to go home with a woman who has horrible hair, dirty clothes, hairy legs (sorry, but if you shave while you dated, why stop when you live together?) or a men who doesn't take shower or his hair has plenty of dandruff but he doesn't care...Fortunately when you love, you stop noticing these unimportant things, but when you start getting bored, all these start coming up like non-stops (let alone other things in the house). So, I think the best way is to keep the romance alive is to live your first date like it was yesterday. If love is real, then the relation will become stronger with time not on the contrary...

There is for me no rules of what should men be or women be. It is a matter of finding the right person for each of us. The rest is important after all we have to live with the person we choose. So, be housewives or successful business women or not depend on our dreams, of what we want to be, become and our goals, not on social expectation..And if the person we choose can deal with that, then it's perfect! A lot of these have to do with our own personalities and families.

"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished." Goethe

...Serious smokers :-)

Yesterday, we went out to celebrate Sofia's BD and farewell for Fox, he is leaving for China next Saturday. We had a good time at Davi restaurant, a Thai restaurant, very good food at reasonable price. It is close to Place St Gery. I had Soi Kow soup and then Som Tam, too two starters instead of main dish. Everybody was very pleased with what they got. Especially the waitress very sweet and good looking :-). BTW, her name is also Thao, so Thao is name for nice people :-P

After that, we went for a sisha (Arab waterpipe) treat at Imanza, also in Pl St Gery. It is a very nice place with definitely Arab atmosphere. They have nice music, sometimes live music as well, I find the business concept of that place is excellent. Everything is for sale, furniture, couche, tables, chairs... So every time I went there with Fox, there was new furniture again. So, the design of the place is changing...Me and Sofia suspected that it is a place where Arab girls meet men, it is a dating place for them. You don't see lots of foreigners or even belgian there. Only Arabs, that's why it's nice. You feel as if you are in Marakech. We smoked like crazy, me, Sofia, and Fox. Natural born smoker, and took lot of pictures when we were stoned, look like serious drug addicted people. Sisha is good, you smoke and it's smell good.

We decided heading to "Chez Mama", a private gay bar with Mama performed (the owner of the place is gay, and every nite dressed up at a woman imitated voice of French singers, walks on the bar and acts. Last nite was packed, you could hardly move. We have got Mama and two others (Madonna and Kylie Minogle) :-) We all agreed that Madonna was the best, and most "woman" like, I think "she" has great legs!!! and when "she" shaked her butt, you would think that "she" is a woman :-). Of course, Jeremie and Luc remained indifferent and threatened :-). I have been at "Chez Mama" three times, and every time I enjoyed very much. It's a place where we women feel safe and undisturbed, where you see guys backing at the end of the bar to make out, and really into it. But at the same time, it is a place where we, women can feel unattractive, no matter how beautiful you are, they don't care or even give you a look :-). Of course, you can see many good looking men there but what a pity!!!! ;-).

I like to be a woman, because at the end even men tried to look like us, we are beautiful creature...Thumbs up for MEN who try to look like women, tough job. Would be nice to visit a lesbian bar to see how it is, will find that out.

I ended out nite at Mezzo, a smoky bar, with a couple who made out in front of our nose..hmm some people.

RRRhhh cold

Not so many things at work today, it is quite calm although I think tomorrow will be quite a day for me.

We are going out this Friday because next weekend Fox will be on his China trip, and also because last Sunday was Sofia's birthday. So, it will be nice to see all favourite people, it can be quite some time that we will gather again.

Fox has been telling me about the food that we will try in HK, shops..I am quite excited, and Steven told me that there is a sleeper train to Guilin as well, I didn't know this, I thought there was only sleeper bus. And it's the same price (24 US dollar), same schedule as the bus. So, I think I will take train, it's probably safer. You never know if the bus driver falls asleep ;-)).

busy busy

Busy all day today, so much work.

Anyway, nothing special unless I am glued in front of my TV after work for a Korean TV serie ;-). Very nice!!

I still have exactly 25 days left before my holidays, and meanwhile I have still lots of activities that keep me busy ;-))

Cheers,

Thao

Relationships

Didn't write anything in the weekend as I planned ;-(. Well, I had a very good weekend, I just got some rest, reading my travel guide book to see what I can do during my trip...This time my aunt will also be there, she will arrive in VN just one day after me, so it will be quite a family reunion ;-).

The Chinese New year is coming, will be on 9th Feb, and there will be a celebration event organized by the Vietnamese community here. I am in for a performance ;-)) hehehe, a tradional dance, nothing special but I will be in!! I will let you know which day the event will be. Probably on the 13th or 12th Feb.

Anyway, enough of the bla bla...yesterday, I was thinking of one of my friend's mail. She wants to get married but she doesn't want to live with her husband family. A little explanation here, in Vietnam, when a girl get married, she usually has to live and take care of her husband's parents, be a good daughter in law (which means your husband's parents are your parents). There is always conflict between husband's mother and the wife or at least it happens quite often (I am searching a good website that has a detail explanation on this, will update it here). Nowadays, since women have become the main finance source in the family eventhough this is not officially considered, but if you travel to Vietnam, you will see 90% women work while the men are drinking coffee ;-(, they or at least the high educated women want to be more independent (have their own house..). So, I do understand my friend here. She is afraid to be expected to come home from work, and has to still take care of her husband's parents. Besides, "blood is thicker than water".

I was thinking of my friends, most of them in a relationship with a foreigner (I didn't meant it as different from a Belgian but other than their own nationalities), it seems fine. I don't know whether it is because they have reached the level of total understanding, they are good at compromising (so we speak) or it is because there are not a lot of gaps in values, and culture in their relationship (well, most of them are European). I think it is very interesting to see two persons from different backgound that has come together in harmony (I do not disregard the disputes that couples usually have because I think they come in as a "package", and that without them, a relation becomes mundanely and boring.)

I have idealized love very much! Love for me is you will give everything without asking for return (not that you will have to climb the highest mountain or swim the ocean) but financially speaking money or physical wealth becomes less important in your eyes. You won't care whom of you will spend more or earn more, whether you will have to have a document to state out who owns what (for the fear of having trouble in divorcing later). How can we build a long term relationship if we enter a relationship with a thought behind our minds that we will divorce? Physical wealth is something that comes and go, ou won't have them forever, but the people who are closed to us, they will be there.

I believe there is only one soulmate for each person, and I believe in re-incarnation. I prefer the explanation for two persons that meet and fall in love is because they have been matched, and if in their previous life, their partnership was broken up for any reasons and if they had made their oath to meet again this life to fulfill it. What's about two persons that meet, fall in love but they are not together for the rest of their lives? I think it is because they have not been matched, that is why there is only one person for each of us, but it's because nobody can forbid people to fall in love, not Buddha or God or else, but THE HIGHEST matcher (don't remeber the name of this fairy in Buddhism) can decide whether you will match or not. That's why love is sometimes sad.

The most frustrated thing when in love, I think it is when we find out we do not love anymore. It's strange...We meet a person, we like 'em, and the next thing we know is that we do not want to leave that person, we want to be with that person... Then one day we find out that we do not love them anymore. There are lots of reasons but still strange that we will feel indifferent towards that person who made us once feel butterflies in stomach or weak in our knee!!

I am not so convinced on maintaining friendship with ex-boyfriends or girlfriends after we find out we do not get along with them or things do not work out as we want. I THINK when this kind of friendship exists, it's because one of the two persons still has feeling for the other...It is not fair as well for the person who comes after...

People takes marriages very lightly, I don't know if it is a fashion that comes from the entertainment industry, but couples get married and divorce as if it is nothing. This is very sad. Marriage is a serious commitment when two persons decides to build a common life. Couples are now scared of getting married, their fear of divorcing. More than 50% of the people I spoke to have parents divorced. Moreover, the socially speaking, it is now an evident for a woman to stay single, have her own career, properties, and social accepted to live her single live until when she decides not to. Therefore, the age expectation for women to get married is extended longer, there is no biological clock that make women want to have chidlren, they fear to giving up their career or their freedom...Moreover, making a living is so hard that one person's earning is no enough to feed the whole family...Lots of issues...

Closer

I went to see this movie yesterday, it's brilliant!!

This morning on the way to work, I was thinking about my dead grandpa. I remembered he used to tell us (me and Huong) the story of the dead frog (nothing special about that, just the frog died, its skin would dry out..), but I think probably the way he told it was so magic that we begged him every time to tell us that story ;-). My grandpa was also a father for me, he was very supportive and always set realistic goal for us. Although, sometimes we got tough punishments from him, but they were for the best persons we have become today. I miss him today!!

I have received some e-mails from BootnAll insiders suggesting where to stay, what to do in Guilin, and Yangshuo...Have got an e-mail from Steven, offering his help when I arrive in Guilin. It will be nice I think. Apparently he is from Sichuan originally, Panda home, and studied in Guilin university, now working in marketing and web design in tourist brand, so he must know a lot. Anyway, I am looking forward to be in China.

Also I plan to take my mom all the way to Central VN, Hoi An, Hue, then from there we will fly to Luang Prabang for a week.

Tonite, I am seeing the VNese gang, one of the guy is going back on Sunday to get married, so we will eat and drink today and tomorrow. He is counting his days now ;-), will no longer be single, we made fun of him. I will start a course of Vnese musical instrument this Saturday. BTW, talking about musical instruments, we have a joke..;-). All instruments in VN start with "dan", for instance, guitar will be "dan guitar", however, "women" in Vietnamese is "dan ba", so the guys in VN usually say that there is only one musical instrument that they can play, which is "dan ba" of course...;-)

UBI starts BBA program in Saigon

Guess what, I received an e-mail from Marie-Laurence this morning, and she told me that our school is opening a BBA program in Saigon, she will teach Written Communication course there. So, she would like to have some info of what subjects should be covered in class, what to avoid..etc. This is good news, so this time I am going back, I will check the program out ;-)

BTW, I also plan to take my mom to Laos for a week, she has ever been outside VN, so I suppose it will be nice for us to hang out together there. I am very excited.

I talked to my mom just now, she has no ideas that I will be back this Feb-Mar. So, it will be a real surprise for her, especially my sister will be back just after I leave.

This weekend, I plan to shop with Sofia in Gent, I am not looking for anything in particular or going crazy for the sales like I usually do, I just need to buy a really good backpack for the trip, and some cosmetics for friends and mom...

Yesterday, I read an article about the lady who started Spinvox, a service company that transfer your voice mail to text messages. So, it's a woman, and she is young. Many companies in Europe is growing fast, especially things like comic erotic mobile games, or technology that is called Near Field something that allows you to do everything with your mobile, like credit card..etc. And guess what, due to the low fee flight, many airports are now planning to replace Hermes bags for sandwiches ;-) in order words, big brand names to cheap products. However, governments are not in favour of that, they want to give foreigners a best first impression on their countries through expensive "PRODUCT" shops instead of sandwiches. And I think one of those airline from Nordic is offering super-size seats for large size customers, customers just need to book and pay a bit extra to get these seats. However, they don't guarantee for super-size meals for those seats though!!

...Today's thoughts

Came in late this morning, I had appointment with the ophthalmologist for my eyes...Yeah, I plan to have a lazer treatment, so I don't have to wear eye-glasses again. However, after the discussion, they said it's not neccessary. Also the cost is quite high, around 3000 Eur. So, I have to think about it. But if any of you is interested, the doctor is quite famous here in Belgium, their cabinet is in 12-16 BLD St Michel, 1150 Woluwe St Pierre. Be wared that you have to pay up to 150 Eur for the pre-surgery visit. They will make a lot of test to see if you are ok to have the treatment or which treatment suits you best. I think it's worth the money. After all, it's your eyes, and "eyes are windows to your soul"...

Fox sent me a link this morning about hotel in HK, I think this is where I will stay since Fox is there as well http://www.asiahotels.com/hotelinfo/Langham_Hotel_Hong_Kong/. I am so looking forward to my trip, it will be my biggest adventure ;-), and I think 2005 will be the year of travelling for me.

My plan is to stay 2 days in HK, then Guangzhou, Guilin, Yangshuo, then Saigon, Brussels...Won't have much time to spend in China, but I am already happy that I drop by for couple of days ;-).

Yesterday Negina told me that this year is very good for those who were born in the year of Monkey (not that Negina is an expert on Chinese Astrology but she got the Chinese calendar that includes this section), apparently you guys will be happy the whole year (not that I know many monkeys that are not happy!!). For the rest, Negina will give me the calendar, so I will post all the "animals" for the year of Rooster ;-)

Talking about travelling again at lunch time, one colleague in Sony is going to Bangok with his Thai girlfriend, and they will be in Laos, so I think I will also go to Laos when they are there. Will be fun!

I love writing, especially when there are many things that are laying on my heart...I would like to become a writer. I think this is more like me...My mentor asked me when you close your eyes, what is your perfect picture? And I don't see myself as a sucessful business woman, I see myself as a sucessful peron in NGO, a writer, or a psyshologist...I like everything that involves with helping people...

I am planning to create a website very soon, actaully I am working on it, I think I will focus on researching on inter-culture in relationship (hmm sounds good), or role of women from East to West. I will have a lot of reading to do, it will be nice to share with you.

BTW, for those of you who like sky-diving, there is this website www.parachute.be where you can book your dive in Belgium (yeah you can do sky-diving here). Mine will be on 02 April 2005, can't wait again!!!

Cheers,

Thao

Last Saturday

The weekend just passed was great!!! The Spanish bar, Havana Club on Friday resulted in crazy laugh of me and Sofia. Dinner and karaoke on Saturday were wonderful. We, Vietnamese says good wine is to drink with good friends. And you all are fab!

I hope we can keep on holding our international group together.

Cheerio,

Thao

...Flowers in Vietnamese culture

Hi Guys,

Feeling a bit bored today, so I have browsed to find some info on my trip, and found this intersting website on flowers in Vietnamese culture http://www.limsi.fr/Recherche/CIG/efleur.htm. I thought this is interesting for those who have have interests in oriental culture.

Cheers,

Thao