Challenges in life

I would like to use this blog to share my reflection of the day and also to remember my grandma since today is my grandma's death anniversary. It has already been a year.

Recently, I have been exposed to many spiritual views of life, and to be honest, I wish that one day I could finally live my life more spiritually, I am working on that at least. One of my loved ones gave me a book called "Mission Success" of Og Madino. I am not usually a big fan on motivational book, I believe each of us has that self motivation or strenghths to get through obtacles in life. However, one thing I agree with Og is that life is a mission, and "every day is life in mininature". The truth is when we start asking questions of how much it worth our freedom, how much it worth our health, how much it worth our hands, feet or our minds, we surely start realising how much we have already got to get through problems. Maybe motivational books are not there to help us but to remind us how we should open my eyes, our souls to the game of life. If we fail to see, we will fail the game and our world will be filled more with greed, with hate, with jealousy that will drag us down.

I have canceled my trip to Turkey, something I was very much looking forward to. No need to tell you how much I disppointed, not because of the money I had spent in advance on flight and hotels but I was disappointed to not being able to see or to do the things I had planned. Even today i still can't hide my disappointment. This morning, I decide to go back to " I will forget yesterday, with all its trials and tribulations, aggravations and setbacks, angers and frustrations. The past is already a dream from which I can neither retrieve a single word nor erase any foolish deeds" to remind myself that I could do nothing to change my past.

Many times in life, we are challenged with difficulties or problems that we think that is beyond our reach. In fact, when one door is closed, there is surely another door opens for us. There are too many bigger problems. If we pray for our problems, aren't we selfish since the problem is too minor compare to for example what the people of Japan are facing right now. Sometimes, there seems to be no light in a dark tunnel, but if we still have that endurance that is given to us, we can continue walking until we see that light.

I have that anger that is within me and for a long time, I tried to suppress it, maybe I should start facing it. Why am I angry? because I want... Yes, what if I no longer 'want' ? that's the point, if I stop wanting, if I stop to desire, then I am freed from that anger of not getting it. So, today, I meditate on that thought, I pray that Buddha gives me the strength to accept and see things in their raw states. I pray on my forgiveness, for to forgive I will be relieved from pain. " I will not waste no even a precious second today in anger or hate or jealousy or selfishness. I know that the seeds I sow I will harvesh, because every action, good or bad is always followed by an equal reaction. I will plant only good seeds this day".

I just like to spend this day thinking of my grandma and to pray that her soul is now with Buddha or that she has stepped into the next circle of the dharma wheel. I would like to nurture her love for us, her strength to protect our family.

I will live generously today.

Spring time

Today we have beautiful weather, the sun is too bright that it hurts my eyes. Like the trees, people pour out on the street, take in the warmth and the natural light despite the big strike of the unions is all sectors. Their mood is also better, you see them smiling, very rare here because the weather is so often and depressed that people withdraw in themselves.

Spring is here and you can definitely feel it inside you and your surrounding. It is as if you are waking from a long sleep, a strong energy wave goes through your almost immobile body :-). Your body cells get thirsty for stuffs to do...In short, motivation is full in your mind and body. How great that feeling is! Yeah, you guess it right. I have plans and I am running against time :-). What I actually need is to slow down, take a break and start again :-).

A few weeks a go, I went to see Rundskop, a Flemish film which you can literally translated to the Beef's head. It was a harsh movie to watch, picked the wrong time to watch it, so all in all, not a very nice experience even though the movie was great. I had a chance to watch a couple of classic during Tet though like "Roman Holiday", "Casablanca", "General Patton", gosh how I love old movies! They are awesome in music, screen plays, beautiful and talented actresses and actors. How I love the way they express feeling, their kisses, everything was so passionated as if they want to seize the moment with their lover forever. Very romantic indeed.

Anyway, two of best friends are expecting their first babies this year and guess what I start feeling old knowing yougn babies are popping out everywhere :-), I have lost again one travel partner! Seems like you can't always go on living the life you want, of course, you can decide but there are still other factors...I am under a lot of pressure right now, " when do you start thinking of settling down? get married..." and I can feel this pressure having a deep impact on me at the moment. It's the age, I suppose :-). So, you folks can stop introducing, I can well manage my own love life and I am working on it among other things :-).

In the mean time, let me just have a nice drink, eat my gorgeous salad ang get tanned, Da*n IT! :-). At least that is not going to be my only sunny day, in a week, I will be enjoying the sun, the beach, and "cotton" field. It will be my first warmth holiday this year considering the equally enjoyable but freezing NY in January.